


none of it seems to matter anymore

by TheGrammarHawk



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Crimson Flower Route, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Third Person, Post-Time Skip, Songfic, You've been warned, hand holding, yeah you know what's up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25545874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGrammarHawk/pseuds/TheGrammarHawk
Summary: Like a comet pulled from orbit (like a ship blown from its mooring)As it passes the sun (by a wind off the sea)Like a stream that meets a boulder (like a seed dropped by a bird)Halfway through the wood (in the wood)Ferdinand and Hubert share drinks together the dawn before the final battle.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	none of it seems to matter anymore

**Author's Note:**

> title, summary, the entire fic are all inspired by Billy and Robbie's cover of "For Good" from _Wicked_
> 
> this isn't original at all i'm SURE everyone boutta flood ao3 w songfics and honestly?? do it??? DO it i am sitting in my feelings just like you don't make me suffer through this alone if i can do this from 2-3am i am SURE you can do it better please i am starving

It was nearly dawn when Ferdinand quit warming up with his lance, out of his armor but still entirely prepared to march on Fhirdiad as they were scheduled to do. The very notion of the final battle approaching on the horizon was… thrilling, yes, but utterly terrifying as well.

Would they all survive it?

Questions such as that kept flying about in his head, viciously fast and equally despicable in nature, and he _knew_ if he was to be of any use on the field he would need to calm his nerves as quickly as possible. The much-needed remedy seemed to present itself in a brief, refreshing walk about camp. It was quiet, this early, so he knew he would not readily be disturbed.

Or so he thought.

“What… Hubert?”

“Ferdinand?”

“ _What_ are you doing underneath this scarlet oak tree?”

Ferdinand was astounded, quite frankly. He knew Hubert hardly slept, vampire bat that he was by nature, but to be up now seemed irresponsible – even if he was, as well!

“Well, this is my favorite coffee drinking spot,” Hubert mused, though his tone seemed dragged down by some nostalgic mix of sarcasm and teasing. Ah, yes, the most vile Hubert von Vestra’s very favorite location for taking coffee: sitting at the base of a tree just before the sun was set to rise, their shared table damningly far away at the moment.

“…But I also happen to have some tea, if you’d care for some.”

Beaming, a fraction of the weight in his chest lifting with the offer, Ferdinand took his seat beside his imperial counterpart, voice warm. “You know I could never say no to a Southern Fruit Blend!”

He lit up even further at the chuckle Hubert gave, though the fire was stoked to the core with one simple comment:

“Charming, as always.”

It was all Ferdinand could do to look away, flushed and devastatingly entrapped by how much he adored the other man – not that Hubert knew, of course. Perhaps they had grown close over tea and coffee over the past few years, but…

It was _Hubert_. Ferdinand had just begun to cherish their tentative friendship, he couldn’t ruin the relationship as a whole with such nonsense as the desire to hold his hand or see which blend of coffee his lips tasted like.

It wasn’t as though Hubert could possibly feel the same.

(Though he did.)

“Um… hey, Hubert?”

A sidelong glance. “Yes, Ferdinand?”

“May I…” Was now the time to confess? Was that truly proper? And what of the ongoing war, the war they were set to finish by nightfall? Would this not simply mess everything up? “tell you something that’s been on my mind?”

Ferdinand kept his gaze fixed solely on the tea, warm in his grip. In doing so, he missed the way Hubert’s eyes grew fond, a gloved hand coming to rest near his thigh in the grass.

“For you? …Anything.”

Inhaling a deep breath to gather his nerve, Ferdinand hunched slightly, curving his body with the tree in a way that appeared relaxed, for him. In front of Hubert, perhaps he did not need to be so nobly put together.

Not right now, anyways.

“I’ve heard it said… that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn… and we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we _let_ them, and we help them in return.”

Hubert raised an eyebrow, face neutral, as Ferdinand finally picked his head up and turned back to him.

The smile on his face was brighter than any beam the sun could shine.

(Even with the beginning buds of tears that seemed to be pulling at the corners of his eyes.)

“Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true… but I know I’m who I am today because I knew _you_.

“Like a comet pulled from orbit,” the redhead brandished a hand sharply toward the sky above them both, “as it passes the sun. Like – a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood!

“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better…” Just like that, Ferdinand pulled back in toward himself, dragging a wayward lock of orange hair back behind his ear. This type of modest anxiety was still unusual for Hubert to witness when coming from the bright and outgoing knight, and he couldn’t help but stare at the rosy tint overcoming Ferdinand’s cheekbones.

“But because I knew you… I have been changed for _good_.”

The words, though soft from Ferdinand’s lips, seemed to hold some hesitance, a sadness that Hubert could not quite put his finger on. It almost sounded as though…

Ah. It sounded as though it was to be a final parting. What with the battle to end it all coming up with the sun, a deep weight settled in Hubert’s stomach at the thought of this, perhaps, being their last minute alone before the end.

Last minute alone… perhaps _ever_.

“It well may be,” Hubert returned, thinking over his words, “that we may never… meet again, in this lifetime. So… let me say before we part:

“So much of me is made from what I learned of you,” he admitted, gently grasping Ferdinand’s wrist as the younger man near gaped at him, “You’ll be with me, like a handprint on my heart.”

Despite the ringing alarms that launched through his mind as he took Ferdinand’s palm to rest upon his breast, Hubert remained steadfast, hoping any sort of notion to their closeness would lay to rest whatever troubled Ferdinand’s mind.

The eye contact burned, just the same.

“And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine, by being my… _friend_.”

His grip on Ferdinand’s hand only grew tighter at the way Hubert barely caught the painful disappointment in his eyes – so much for soothing the man’s nerves, it seemed.

(It wasn’t as though he could rock the boat now, after all. They had a war to win. He couldn’t spring any disastrous _feelings_ on Ferdinand now.)

How could he remedy it…

“Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea… Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood,” Hubert amended, watching in relief as Ferdinand’s gaze softened once more. Summoning the little courage he had in such matters as this, he allowed their joined hands to fall back to the grass, even if he gave a squeeze as he did so.

(Ferdinand was an emotional man, after all. To him, perhaps such an action was nothing more than companionship.)

“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better… but,” the Vestra marquis cut himself off, trying to ease away the bitterness that had climbed in his throat, “because I knew you… I have been changed, for good.”

He let himself give the smallest of smiles, hearing Ferdinand echo the latter of his sentiments again on the open air. The sky was turning redder, closing in on the very color of von Aegir hair.

They had gone through so much in the past five years, it seemed. To have Ferdinand beside him, warm and listening as if they had always been like this…

(Hubert didn’t deserve the look in Ferdinand’s amber eyes. He had done so many horrible things in life, so many of which were done to _hurt_ the very man he now cherished. How many times had Ferdinand grown cross, or _worse_ , _wept_ because of him?)

Ferdinand deserved better. Hubert had to tell him that while he could.

“And just to… clear the air, I ask no forgiveness.” He hadn’t asked any of the false goddess, of his family, of practically anyone aside from Edelgard. “For the things I’ve done, they blame me for.”

He was no pure man, not at all. This apology of sorts was more of a cop-out than he was proud to admit, barely an acknowledgement, but the idea of asking earnest Ferdinand for anything was too daring a move, even for him.

Seeing Hubert’s halting, Ferdinand took the moment to squeeze his hand back, finally beginning to understand.

(Did Hubert truly care for him in return? Was such a thing possible?)

He’d have to be passionate and brave enough for them both.

“But then I guess we know there’s blame to share – and _none_ of it seems to matter, anymore!

“Who can say if we’ve been changed for the better… I do believe I have been changed for the better. Because I knew you…”

Careful, fretful over the fragile moment, Ferdinand now brought Hubert’s hand up to meet his lips, gently pressing a kiss upon the clothed knuckles.

It was all the dark mage could do to echo him.

“Because I knew you…”

“We have been changed,” Ferdinand prompted softly, smile smaller, quieter, just for _him_.

Hubert could not help but nod slightly to himself. “For good.”

(No matter what the final battle had in store for them, that much they both knew was true.)

**Author's Note:**

> ferdibert won 2020 it's canon i cannot believe-


End file.
